Alea iacta est
Posted: 13 Jul 2015 22:33Hey guys,
Here is a short disclaimer before I start:
This is not about creating drama, attacking someone or generally trying to reopen old sores. I am here out of mere selfishness. As a side effect this going to take away the need of having to explain myself about me leaving the community.
If you do not care about my persona then you are of course free to leave. This thread is all about me and serves as a confirmation for both sides that there is no turning back.
As some of you may or may not have witnessed: I left the community quite spontaneously while things started to boil a bit. With that I pretty much discarded my responsibility as a (former) part of the community to sort out the happenings. I just entirely left it to others without even trying to do my bit. Instead, I took the easy way. I took this path shamelessly because at this time I’ve already lost everything that bound me to this place. For some reason the ideal spirit just left me, it died and made me feel empty. I just don’t wanted to be IDEAL anymore because it suddenly felt different and for me certainly in a very negative way. That’s why it was and still is so easy for me to say all of this.
Last but not least: Only one was to blame, for me. I clearly stated that in my last post and I pinned the fault for the entire disturbance on this individual. This isn’t something that I can just take back nor want to. It doesn’t even matter if you have figured out how to settle down things and make everyone happy. I made this a personal matter and I honestly lack the imagination how to deal with the tension that this has created between me and the person, at least from my point of view.
I left the community, knowing that this won’t solve anything but might even exacerbate the events. As mentioned previously this doesn’t make me feel worse, just empty. Still, I believe that I owe you people an apology. My selfish behavior was childish and downright destructive. So I wouldn’t be surprised if you think badly of me since I deserve it.
The fact that you people still stick together is a sign of how healthy and strong this community is, which, to be all honest with you, surprised me. And yet it shouldn’t. This place is full of awesome people from all around Europe and beyond (well, waxx pretty much is the representative of the land of free). I wish you all the best in the future, just one without my participation.
Therefore:
I apologize for what I did. I do not expect anyone to forgive me; I just want you to notice. This is for me to once and for all close the chapter IDEAL which was a big part of me for over 2 years.
Thanks to all of you for the great time I had here.
Here is a short disclaimer before I start:
This is not about creating drama, attacking someone or generally trying to reopen old sores. I am here out of mere selfishness. As a side effect this going to take away the need of having to explain myself about me leaving the community.
If you do not care about my persona then you are of course free to leave. This thread is all about me and serves as a confirmation for both sides that there is no turning back.
As some of you may or may not have witnessed: I left the community quite spontaneously while things started to boil a bit. With that I pretty much discarded my responsibility as a (former) part of the community to sort out the happenings. I just entirely left it to others without even trying to do my bit. Instead, I took the easy way. I took this path shamelessly because at this time I’ve already lost everything that bound me to this place. For some reason the ideal spirit just left me, it died and made me feel empty. I just don’t wanted to be IDEAL anymore because it suddenly felt different and for me certainly in a very negative way. That’s why it was and still is so easy for me to say all of this.
Last but not least: Only one was to blame, for me. I clearly stated that in my last post and I pinned the fault for the entire disturbance on this individual. This isn’t something that I can just take back nor want to. It doesn’t even matter if you have figured out how to settle down things and make everyone happy. I made this a personal matter and I honestly lack the imagination how to deal with the tension that this has created between me and the person, at least from my point of view.
I left the community, knowing that this won’t solve anything but might even exacerbate the events. As mentioned previously this doesn’t make me feel worse, just empty. Still, I believe that I owe you people an apology. My selfish behavior was childish and downright destructive. So I wouldn’t be surprised if you think badly of me since I deserve it.
The fact that you people still stick together is a sign of how healthy and strong this community is, which, to be all honest with you, surprised me. And yet it shouldn’t. This place is full of awesome people from all around Europe and beyond (well, waxx pretty much is the representative of the land of free). I wish you all the best in the future, just one without my participation.
Therefore:
I apologize for what I did. I do not expect anyone to forgive me; I just want you to notice. This is for me to once and for all close the chapter IDEAL which was a big part of me for over 2 years.
Thanks to all of you for the great time I had here.
