"Quitting this game has been one of the three best decisions
Posted: 01 Mar 2016 19:24I'm sharing this, because I can relate, and I think many others here can, too, and I think it is a great post.
Original author: /u/IStillLikeChieftain
Original thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/WorldofTanks/comments/48e9xc/quitting_this_game_has_been_one_of_the_three_best/
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So towards the end of summer last year I was really unhappy with where my life was and even less happy with where it was going. I was frustrated, I was anxious, I was angry, I was fractious and arguing with my wife. It eventually lead to a panic attack and I started re-examining things.
I got some counseling and my counselor insisted I keep a mood log - a daily diary, updated several times a day (at first every 2 hours, later, as I became conscious of my moods, as they changed), and there were two clear trends:
My work - even the anticipation of work - was ruining my mood constantly.
My free time was split fairly evenly among cooking, working on my Polish, hanging out with the wife, reading, and playing this game. In one week, the week I decided to quit, I had about 15 entries listing something to the effect of "calm", "satisfied", "happy" - basically varying degrees of neutral to happy - for the first four. By contrast, I had almost twice as many - 28 - "stressed", "angry", "frustrated", "worked up", and one "I fucking hate artillery" - entries for World of Tanks. This despite WoT taking up "only" about 11 our of 40 free hours that week.
As my therapist and I explored my life, we came up with a plan for addressing the work issue, but the World of Tanks thing, it was becoming clear, was less about having fun than it was the addiction. The addiction of adrenaline, of competition, of anger, and that the subreddit and my clan were about the only positive interactions I had from it. But even this positive interaction was really coming at a cost of interacting with people I knew in daily life and of learning things - cooking and the history of Europe from 1648-1815 - that I actually enjoyed. I hadn't even realized that I'd been sitting on two classic books on Napoleon I'd spent almost $300 on for 6 months.
Now I know my issues are my own, so I'm not saying you're addicted or that the game is having a negative effect on your life. However, I also know from talking to clanmates and friends in the game that I'm hardly alone. Having stepped back for three months now, I went back on TeamSpeak and it was shocking to see how much of myself I recognized in my friends, but how a few of them privately started asking questions about quitting.
So I'm not saying you should quit. But if you sound a bit like I do, or perhaps you sound like Foch, or Circon on a particularly lovely day, and you're not sure if you're having fun... there's probably a good chance you're actually not. I'm not going to get preachy here, so I'll explain in brief - basically it becomes a habit through repetition. It feels good early, and gives a sense of accomplishment even - especially - as frustration replaces the "feel good" part. By then the habit is formed and you come back for it, trying to master it like a skill. A book that sort of covers the neurobiology of this is Buddha's Brain, though that's more depression/anxiety related, it still explains how a psychological habit can form.
Anyway, hope I didn't come across as too preachy.
PS
Polish is hard to understand. Even harder to pronounce.
PPS
Polish wives are awesome.
PPPS
OK, she's gone. If you see a Polish girl, odds are she's hot, she dresses great, she fucks like a demon, and her cooking is amazing. Run, kurwa, run.
Original author: /u/IStillLikeChieftain
Original thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/WorldofTanks/comments/48e9xc/quitting_this_game_has_been_one_of_the_three_best/
_________________________________________
So towards the end of summer last year I was really unhappy with where my life was and even less happy with where it was going. I was frustrated, I was anxious, I was angry, I was fractious and arguing with my wife. It eventually lead to a panic attack and I started re-examining things.
I got some counseling and my counselor insisted I keep a mood log - a daily diary, updated several times a day (at first every 2 hours, later, as I became conscious of my moods, as they changed), and there were two clear trends:
My work - even the anticipation of work - was ruining my mood constantly.
My free time was split fairly evenly among cooking, working on my Polish, hanging out with the wife, reading, and playing this game. In one week, the week I decided to quit, I had about 15 entries listing something to the effect of "calm", "satisfied", "happy" - basically varying degrees of neutral to happy - for the first four. By contrast, I had almost twice as many - 28 - "stressed", "angry", "frustrated", "worked up", and one "I fucking hate artillery" - entries for World of Tanks. This despite WoT taking up "only" about 11 our of 40 free hours that week.
As my therapist and I explored my life, we came up with a plan for addressing the work issue, but the World of Tanks thing, it was becoming clear, was less about having fun than it was the addiction. The addiction of adrenaline, of competition, of anger, and that the subreddit and my clan were about the only positive interactions I had from it. But even this positive interaction was really coming at a cost of interacting with people I knew in daily life and of learning things - cooking and the history of Europe from 1648-1815 - that I actually enjoyed. I hadn't even realized that I'd been sitting on two classic books on Napoleon I'd spent almost $300 on for 6 months.
Now I know my issues are my own, so I'm not saying you're addicted or that the game is having a negative effect on your life. However, I also know from talking to clanmates and friends in the game that I'm hardly alone. Having stepped back for three months now, I went back on TeamSpeak and it was shocking to see how much of myself I recognized in my friends, but how a few of them privately started asking questions about quitting.
So I'm not saying you should quit. But if you sound a bit like I do, or perhaps you sound like Foch, or Circon on a particularly lovely day, and you're not sure if you're having fun... there's probably a good chance you're actually not. I'm not going to get preachy here, so I'll explain in brief - basically it becomes a habit through repetition. It feels good early, and gives a sense of accomplishment even - especially - as frustration replaces the "feel good" part. By then the habit is formed and you come back for it, trying to master it like a skill. A book that sort of covers the neurobiology of this is Buddha's Brain, though that's more depression/anxiety related, it still explains how a psychological habit can form.
Anyway, hope I didn't come across as too preachy.
PS
Polish is hard to understand. Even harder to pronounce.
PPS
Polish wives are awesome.
PPPS
OK, she's gone. If you see a Polish girl, odds are she's hot, she dresses great, she fucks like a demon, and her cooking is amazing. Run, kurwa, run.
